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The Final Fantasy

December 18, 2009

So, its official. I’ve signed up for the Final Fantasy XIV beta. Why? Because I’m a masochist at heart. I say this because I’ve played Final Fantasy XI…on three separate occasions. I left that game with the exact same thought every time: “Why, oh why would I subject myself to this grind-fest?” Then I remember: I’m a Final Fantasy nerd. You know, the kind that’s played through FF7 multiple times, has beaten every Final Fantasy, and even played imports of the first three. One thing you have to give this series is that they change the gameplay mechanics with every sequel they make. Its not like many of the first-person shooters or JRPG’s out there, where they take the same, outdated system and slap a fresh coat of paint and different story on it. This is like an amalgamation of that. Same basic plotline, but with different gameplay and different characters slapped on it.

Unfortunately for me, I have terrible luck with MMO betas.  For some reason, game developers just don’t want me to test their games. I’ve signed up for the Star Wars: The Old Republic beta test, but have heard nothing back yet. Same goes for Alpha Protocol, but I have a feeling I’m not missing much. Oh well. Here’s to hoping that I make it in this time…

And, here’s an afro bird from FFXIII for your enjoyment.

Its Afro-Bird!

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Google’s own personal Jesus-phone

December 14, 2009

Ever since the Droid phones were released for public consumption, there has been talk of Google releasing its own line of phones using the Android operating system. In a post a while back, I stated that this phone has to be better than the iPhone. The sheer number of times I have wanted to allow my iPhone to be consumed by the fiery, black depths of Satan’s unholy anus are uncountable. Whether it’s been a result of text messages not being sent, having “call failure” 10 times in a row when I have 5 bars of 3G service, or the fact that I didn’t get to send multimedia texts until a year after I bought the damn phone, I hate that Goddamn thing.

Which is why I’m getting a Droid. Upon hearing about Google’s new independent phone – the Nexus One – I debated whether or not I should wait for it to release. Unfortunately, speculated release dates for the Nexus One are just that: speculation. The only concrete information about the phone is that Google employees are testing the phone. That’s it. So, I’m not waiting. I have yet to hear a bad thing about the Droid(aside from the fact that it’s not “pretty” like the iPhone), and its released for public consumption. So, screw waiting and screw you, Nexus One. I’m getting myself a damn Droid, and that’s that. Suck it.

Semper Santa,

The DevilGeek

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All hail 1080p!

December 12, 2009

Just bought a new monitor a couple days ago. It is all that is glorious. I believe this “artist’s” rendition says it all.

All shall bow before 23 inches of heavenly goodness!

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It isn’t fair!

December 11, 2009

So, finals are finally over, which means I can go back to yelling about things on here. Hooray for me.

Anyways, I started playing Red Faction: Guerilla on the Xbox 360 last night. I was able to cruise through some of the single-player campaign with little to no problem, but I realized something along the way: I don’t like it when the enemy AI wins. Now, that should seem like a relatively obvious statement, but hear me out.

I was running on the surface of Mars, minding my own business, blowing up some fascist dictator’s buildings, when I drew the attention of the guards protecting this building. Well, instead of just chasing after me with assault rifles, the three of them climbed into armored vehicles and proceeded to run me over…repeatedly. Without ever letting me get up. Needless to say, I was aggravated by this. Then, I thought about what it would be like if I was playing with two of my friends, and a lone target was blowing up the buildings we were trying to defend. I realized we would probably try to perform some kind of unfair tactic to destroy him completely. Such is war. War stopped being “fair” after we stopped standing in a line in front of the English, waiting to be cannonaded.

So, my anger eventually turned into quiet admiration. Then, I went back to that spot and planted explosive charges on their vehicles and blew them up. It seemed fair enough to me.

Semper Stupid,

The DevilGeek

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A promise

December 6, 2009

I swear, I will post more often in the coming weeks. Its finals week, and I have to prioritize for now.

The DevilGeek

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It’s been too long

December 2, 2009

So, I haven’t posted in a while. To be perfectly honest, school happened, along with other issues, including finally playing inFamous. In this game, you essentially play as a flawed comic book character who can either act like a generally good guy, or as the bitter, power-hungry anti-hero, depending on your choices in game. As I’m prone to do, I decided to play as a decent human being, trying to save the city one person at a time, etc. As I got about 2/3 of the way through the game, I came to a simple conclusion: the general civilian population is dumb.

Now, I don’t mean dumb as in “voted for the wrong presidential candidate” dumb, or “2 + 2 = 5″ dumb, or “buying a 500 dollar PS3 two weeks before a 200 dollar price drop” dumb. No, I mean “running directly into my line of fire” dumb. As an unarmed civilian in a combat zone, there are 5 different things you can do when looking at a firefight: you can run to the left of it, to the right of it, in the opposite direction of it, remain immobile, or RUN DIRECTLY INTO IT. I gave these civilians the benefit of the doubt. I assumed that if a civilian sees a firefight between crazy homeless drug addicts and a guy who can shoot lightning from his hands, that said civilian would pick one of the four options that wouldn’t get him or herself killed. I gave them too much credit, apparently.

Now, the penalty for killing a civilian isn’t really a penalty…unless you’re trying to be a goody-twoshoes like me. I mean, how do you save someone who’s clearly suicidal or clinically insane when you’re trying to fight off 14 hobos armed with assault rifles? I guess all I’m really asking for developers to do is to restore my faith in the civilian population by making virtual civilians smarter in their games. Please?

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Attention: Blizzard Fanboys

November 23, 2009

Diablo III won’t be coming out for at least another year. Now, I’m sad that this game of biblical proportions won’t be out in 2010(or possibly 2011), but nothing warms my sick, dark heart quite like the tears of fanboys everywhere.

Why does it warm my heart so? Fanboys of anything are borderline-bipolar when it comes to the things they love. They will defend their favorite products and companies from negative thoughts thrown from reviewers or friends as though they were defending their children from pedophiles. But, if the creator or developer of said products changes something about those products, the fanboys will turn on the developers so fast, unleashing a steaming vitriol in the form of a boycott or an angry email. So, it’s because of this hypocrisy they display that I revel in their despair.

Couple quick things: This game may very well ruin my life when it comes out. Finally, a giant cactuar for your viewing pleasure/horror. Enjoy.

Semper Shut Up,

The DevilGeek

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Video Game Family Values Tour ‘09

November 20, 2009

I thought we were past this as a nation. “Media family values” champion Jack Thompson was disbarred from the Florida legal system a while ago, and a report from Gamasutra.com says that The National Institute on Media and the Family – NIMF, if you want to mock them – has shut down after 14 years of operation. NIMF has been extremely critical of the video game industry over these past 14 years, giving an annual “report card” of the video game industry, and I honestly feel nothing over them shutting down. They have been completely irrelevant to my life throughout their existence. This organization was never discussed around the dinner table, with praises sung by my parents, or Halo-induced rage from me. I doubt anybody in my family or circle of friends has ever heard of this group. In their 14 years of life, they accomplished nothing, except help draw attention to the “Hot Coffee mod” in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, garnering a boost in sales for Rockstar Games. They have always been irrelevant.

If they’re so irrelevant, why in the Hell am I talking about them? Well, why are all 9 of you asking questions? The answer is this: after seeing the fall of Jack Thompson, and seeing Joe Lieberman become the joke of Congress that he is, I assumed we were past this “video games are evil” kick as a nation. This has been done before, first starting with comic books, then cartoons like Road Runner and Bugs Bunny, then movies like “Natural Born Killers,” followed by television shows like “Jackass,” and finally with video games like Grand Theft Auto and Doom. So, I was led to assume that the video game industry has withstood the onslaught of “family-first” groups that have attempted to stare down so many other forms of media that are “ruining our children and our nation.”

Apparently, I was wrong. On GamePolitics.com, a study was performed by the Swiss groups Pro Juventute and Track Impunity Always(TRIAL) to “raise public awareness among developers and publishers of the games, as well as among authorities, educators and the media about virtually committed crimes in computer and videogames.” In other words, to count how many human rights violations exist in video games, and the consequences that are presented to the player. Shockingly, in the first person shooters with highly cinematic tones taking place in combat environments, there were quite a few violations of the International Humanitarian Law with little to no consequence.

Hold on, you mean to tell me a video game isn’t a realistic portrayal of life? Huh. I thought if I ran over some hookers and the police start chasing me, all I have to do to lose them is get my car repainted for a couple hundred bucks. Even if the cops watch me go into the paint shop. In the car I used to run over the hookers. Just like in Grand Theft Auto. Obviously, children should not be playing these M-rated games. In the end, it falls on the parents to guide their children in the right direction. If they allow their kids to play these games, their needs to be parental guidance involved, instead of relying on “family values” groups like NIMF.

I played some violent video games as a teen, I’ll admit. My parents watched me play some of them. They would ask questions, like “why are you shooting that guy? What’s the reason behind this?” And I would explain to them, and I made sure they knew I could tell the difference between fantasy and reality. I have had “concerned mothers” explain to me that the violent first person shooters I played as a youth influenced me to join the military. Of course, I told them no. The recruiter influenced me to join the Marine Corps, not a video game. In the conversation between my recruiter, my parents, and myself, the topic of video games, guns, violence, or the media didn’t come up once. College money, outstanding training, a secure job, and discipline were the topics discussed. Now that’s influential.

Semper I…don’t wanna die.

The DevilGeek

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I Love Banhammers!

November 20, 2009

Gamepolitics.com reported late yesterday that the AbingtonIP patent law firm may be planning a class-action lawsuit against Microsoft for the recent bans on over 1 million XBox Live accounts. Their argument is not everyone who was banned was involved in any kind of illegal activity, such as piracy or hacking. They also claim Microsoft may have done this so close to the launch of Modern Warfare 2 to boost XBox Live subscription revenues. The full story can be found here.

Personally, I have no problem with people getting banned. Having seen the gold farmers in games like World of Warcraft, Warhammer Online, and Aion, I’ve grown a bit…jaded about banning, in that I don’t think its done enough. Besides, its practically common knowledge amongst the gaming community that people hack their consoles. I’ve heard of people hacking PS3’s, XBox 360’s, Wii’s, PS2’s, PSP’s, and even iPhone’s. I had a friend a while back who would hack original XBox’s for a small fee. I will agree that the release of Modern Warfare 2 provided a prime opportunity for Microsoft; an opportunity to combat the hacking and piracy of their consoles.

On a side note, I’m glad I don’t live in New York. Otherwise I’d have to hear “beeeeeeep beeeeeeep” in the middle of playing one of my games.

Semper whatever.

The DevilGeek

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They Shall Know Payne…

November 19, 2009

I can’t believe I forgot the most recent video game movie disaster. How could I? As penance, I give you this:

Two things. First, I want those 2 and a half hours of my life back. Second, this film actually slaughtered my faith in any new cinema. I am now extremely wary of seeing any new movie in theaters. That is all.

Eat the apple, fuck the Corps!

The DevilGeek